This year, Christmas is taking on a new meaning for me. Holiday decorations and music, usually welcome and warm, now make me feel far away from home and lonely. I miss my family so much. Every year before this one, we’ve all been together – together around the table with the special poinsettia placemats, together drinking hot cocoa out of the special Christmas mugs after playing in the snow, together around the newly-decorated tree, singing our favorite songs. Together, howling at the top of our lungs to Dad’s special version of “The 12 Days of Christmas.” Together. I was a Muffett. I was the only one who could remember all the words to the songs. I was the only one who could hang my ornaments. I was the one who knew how to help mom place the wreaths around the house. I was the only one who made sure we all listened to my favorite LP – King Family Christmas. Of course, we don’t have a record player here in Taiwan so there’s no way I could have brought it. I think to myself: can it be Christmas without the King Family? …I don’t know. It’s December 9 today, and even though I’ve tried my hardest to give our little foreign home some holiday warmth, it’s hard to feel. I’m not sure if it feels like Christmas at all.
Last year, at about this time, my boss and good friend Mrs. Burdick told me “No matter where you are, Christmas is Christmas. It will happen no matter what you’re doing – people all over the world will celebrate Christ’s birth.” I know she’s right, but HOW do I I celebrate when I feel so FAR AWAY FROM HOMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! Somebody teach me. I’m sort of lost.
Michael is trying so hard to help me. He’s been so comforting, holding me when I cry and telling me what I need to hear. It hasn’t helped much, though. I am still crying.
I don’t know how to handle this, Lord! Please teach me what Christmas is all about – help me to feel the joy in my heart of your birth. Help me to make this, our first Christmas away from home and as a new family, one that honors You. I feel so lost and lonely. Please be with us, God!
Here’s what I miss…
Emily – Most anything I can think of to say sounds so contrite but I’ll say it anyways. What your going through ( experiencing seperation from your family ) is a natural step in life. You are growing up and learning that family will not always be there for you, so you must learn to enjoy and rely on the good times you’ve had and will have with them and keep them close in your heart. I just had the idea too that Christ’s sacrifice to save use from sin ended with His complete seperation from His Father. He despared his seperation much as you do your seperation from your family. Maybe that thought can help you to be strong. It’s natural to feel sad. You wouldn’t want not to feel sad. Christ knows and completely understands what your feeling, therefore he knows how to teach your heart to be strong and resilient. You want to be close to your family and remain in their love and they in your love. The thing is to face each day knowing who you are.That you are a Muffett (and a Jefferies of course) and that you can never truly be seperated from those who love you. They will always be in your heart and you in their’s. Well I hope this has been of some benefit. This is a stormy time for the whole family when the kids move out on there own and follow their own paths. I’m sure it’s going to be rough on Margot next month when Justin leaves for Dominica. It’ll be tough on Joel as well I expect. It is tougher perhaps because your family (our family) is so close, but there is a solid core there that will never be easily broken. Emily, you are a delightful gift of God, and the world is a much better place for having you in it. Find joy through your sadness and you’ll be alright. Hughughughughughugs and xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx All my love – Aunt Winnie